Comments on: 16 yo female wants freedom from home rules, but still wants the benefits of home. Curfew, sleepovers?

By: G.P. Jackson

G.P. Jackson — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:10:59 +0000

Keep your guard up, if not she will be doing the things you listed first.

Over time she will respect what you done while she was still young.

Good Luck
References :

By: Robert Miller 95670

Robert Miller 95670 — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:34:59 +0000

I would suggest that you stick to your values. Because of her doing so well, I would do whatever I could to encourage her good behavior and grades. Remind her that you love her and that you do trust her. I would hope that when becomes an adult and mother she would let her 16 year old daughter roam wherever and whenever they wanted. When she is 18, she will be an adult. She can pay for all her own bills and you will not be responsible for her breaking curew (tickets).

I really think you are looking out for her best interests as well as yours. What does think and want?
Rules, Laws and Parenting come first over being your daughters friend. So I applaud you. She should be thanful for what she has and what she doesn’t.. ar, cell phone, room, choices.

In my personal opinion, she needs to apologize and pay respect where respect is do to you on being caring, responsible and respectable parent.

If I was your friend, I won’t have to ask where you think your daughter was at 3 a.m.. Friends, boyfriends, etc.

Keep your head up. !
References :

By: niceguy

niceguy — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:01:59 +0000

tell her to like it or quit complaining she could start loosing some previledges. when she has finished school and on her on she can set the rules but as long as she lives there its by your rules. you seem very fair tome. good luck
References :

By: angeleyes

angeleyes — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:25:59 +0000

You are providing her with alot of things most kids that age don’t get. And still she wants more? I know from experience that if the city you live in has a curfew, and your kiddo is out past that, you the parent are held responsible…court, parenting classes…I don’t go for the sleepovers with the boyfriend, sorry…that’s asking for trouble, and also disrespectful to you and your house…stick to your guns mom, life is full of rules that she will have to accept even if she doesn’t like them. Let her learn now.
References :

By: Delphine F

Delphine F — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:37:59 +0000

I think that, considering that she seems like a good kid, you should let her sleep over at her boyfriend’s place, as long as he’s a good guy and that for each night that they spends together, one of those is at your house, and another one is without him. That will make 1 night at his place, one night alone at your’s, one night with him at your’s, then again one night alone at your house. Or something like that.
As far as sleeping out of town, I think it depends on the situation. If, for example, she’s invited to spend the week-end camping with friends or at a friend’s country house, my opinion as a parent myself is that it’s ok once in a while.
Oh, and, even if she’s not sexually active, make sure that she knows how to use a condom and tell her that if she ever needs some, to buy them and give you the receipt and you’ll pay her back. That’s what my mom did with me, and it definitely encouraged me to use them. Kids start to have sex early now, and even if you’re not OK with sex before marriage, chances are that if she wants to do it, she will, even if it has to be in the backseat of a car.
References :
I’m a mom, but only 23 so I remember pretty clearly what it is to be a teenager.

By: paballaba

paballaba — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:31:59 +0000

let her have some freedom your suffocating the poor girl the more your saying no the more she WILL rebel and you can say that she doesnt do those thing as much as you want but i would put a £50 bet on that she has had sex and a drink before!!

my mum always gave me a hard time and i moved out of home at 16 just to have a bit of freedom and experience things that most teenagers had already done!

if you want to have a good relationship with your daughter then show her that you trust her, let her stay at her boyfriends but make sure she knows the boundaries!

let her go on overnight trips as long as she has her mobile with her and you can reach her at all times and you also know where she will be and who she is going with!!

trust me i wish i was still in touch with my mum, but unfortunately i havent spoken to her for about 5 years!!

i hope you find it inside you to show your daughter that you trust her and respect the fact that she is growing into an adult!!
References :

By: stormieshilo

stormieshilo — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:12:59 +0000

its tough being 16 and all you want from your parents is for them to trust you to make decisions on your own, weather they be right or wrong. i would not say that letting her go out of town, or staying at her boyfriends house, have you thought about him being able to stay at your house that way you have the say so as to what happens and she get to have him spend the night? She seems like a good kid with a level head on her shoulders so sit down and have an adult conversation with her treating her like the equal she is trying to show you she can be. and compromise
References :

By: Melissa, That's me!

Melissa, That's me! — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:53:59 +0000

As far as the curfew goes, my parents used to say that they didn’t want us getting into trouble, so on nights that we didn’t have anything to do we were allowed to have friends over until our curfew, and if we had special things to do like a late movie premiere or a concert, etc. we were allowed an extension on our curfew. When we were at the house we’d be checked on every once in a while, but for the most part we didn’t feel like we were being babysat which made it bareable to be at home. As far as the overinght trip with friends goes, my dad always had a saying "It takes 2 things to do something desire and oppertunity. I can’t control the desire, so I control the opperunity." Explain to your daughter that she is very mature and responsible, and if she went on that trip, this time nothing would happen, and probably the time after that, but if you continued to go away, naturally our desires would get the best of us. If he let us go this time it’s not fair to say no every other time, so he just said no from the begining. Experessing your trust, and how responsible she is will probably help. You’re just trying to keep her natural desires at bay. Hope that helps!
References :

By: chapes

chapes — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:43:59 +0000

everything you have done is very good, except the car. the car should have remained yours and she could use it with your permission, unless she is helping pay for it. teenagers, like most kids, are never completely happy.do what you think is best, after all, you are the adult.
References :

By: bonnie s

bonnie s — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:24:59 +0000

sounds to me she want to be treated like a adult, you could do just that..make her pay for her rent. car ins, even the car , the cell phone all the etc that you pay for she than may be willing to listen and do as she is told, the flip side to this coin is then she will be able to come and goes as she wants to and only you know if you willing to accept that, as long as she is living in your home it is just that your home and she must abide by your rules maybe you could meet her half way up the curfew a hour and no stay overs with the boyfriend until maybe 17 1/2 and only if she is on the pill ,, unless your religion forbids such stuff than well it will have to wait until she is old enough to move out .. i hope i have helped
References :